BLOG POSTS

  1. Treat each child as an individual. Don’t make comparisons. (“I don’t understand it. When Johnny was her age, he could already tie his shoes.”) Each child feels he/she is unique and rightly so – he/she is unique, and he/she resents being evaluated only in relation to someone else. Instead of comparison, each child in the family should be given his/her own goals and levels of expectation that relate only to him/her.
  2. Don’t dismiss or suppress your children’s resentment or angry feelings. Contrary to what many people think, anger is not something we should try to avoid at all costs. It’s an entirely normal part of being human, and it’s certainly normal for siblings to get angry with one another. They need the adults in their lives to assure them that parents get upset, too, but have learned (usually) control and that angry feelings do not give license to behave in mean and dangerous ways. This is the time to sit down, acknowledge the anger (“I know you are upset with David right now but you cannot hit him with a stick”,) and talk it through.
  3. When possible, let siblings settle their own differences. If a child is hurt, a parent must intervene immediately, otherwise it is best to let children work things out themselves.
I suggest using a “lovey” (something like a small soft blanket, or a small stuffed animal) to help your child go to sleep on their own. So when they stir in the middle of the night they can use the same “lovey” to soothe themselves and to help them go back to sleep by themselves.
As a parent your heart breaks for your child when someone doesn’t want to play with them. Parents, make sure not to jump to conclusions. Maybe their friend was busy playing with other friends and didn’t want to leave the group. Maybe your child wanted to play something that the other child didn’t want to play. Maybe the other child wanted to play by themselves. Be aware that you may not always know the reason. If your child is saying that their friend didn’t want to play with them, it is different than your child saying, "I have no friends.” Feel free to speak with your child's teacher to find out if your child was just disappointed when a child didn’t want to sit with them at lunch and the incident was magnified. What can a parent do to help children forge friendships? Out of school playdates help children socialize and make new friends. When children come to school the day of the playdate the children are excited and want to play together. When boys and girls arrive in school the following day they have made a new bond with their friend.
Todays children are already learning about food being delivered to their homes. Instead, try taking your child to the farmers’ market or better yet, grow your own vegetable garden. When your child gets to pick their own vegetables and fruits, they get excited to eat the food. For those of you who still shop in a regular supermarket, take your child with you to help pick out items for dinner. Our nursery school children are used to eating family style where all the food is healthy and everyone passes the bowls of fresh food to their friend. They then spoon the food onto their own plates. By serving themselves, they tend to have “a buy in” to what they are eating. I suggest that meals in your home are served family style and that you have at least two items at the table that you know that your child will eat. All of the food items on the table should be healthy and then there is no issue of a parent having to police the meal. If you feel that your meal has items that you want your child to eat “first,” “second,” or “third,” then your meal planning should change. Good luck on your new food experiences. Your meals will be more joyful.
The key to having your child sleep through the night is for your child to have the ability to go to sleep on his or her own. If a parent needs to stay in the room in order for their child to go to sleep, the child will also need the adult there in the middle of the night when they wake up. All humans wake up in the middle of the night but as adults we have learned how to put ourselves back to sleep. We do things such as moving our pillow or blanket in a certain way. If your child is in the habit of having you help them to fall asleep, when they wake up in the middle of the night they will also need you - their “lovey,” to go back to sleep. So it makes sense that when your child stirs or wakes up in the middle of the night, that they will go to your bedroom because they need you to help them go back to sleep.
Sometimes it is hard for your child to share their toys. Before you have a playdate, allow your child to put toys away that they don’t want to share. The friends can play with the other toys. If your child still has a difficult time sharing, make your playdates at a park. Be assured that your child will outgrow this non sharing stage. Who knows, you may have gone through this stage, too!
First off your child needs to be able to go to sleep on their own. Everyone, even adults, wake in the middle of the night and they learn how to go back to sleep on their own. If you need mom or dad to help you go to sleep, you will need them in the middle of the night. A way to get your child to sleep later is to tell them to sleep until it is light outside. Currently there is a clock called the Kid’Sleep Clock. There is also a version called Kid’Sleep Moon. It is made by Classens Kids. You can set the clock to any wake- up time. You can tell your child that when the moon on the clock comes up it's time to wake up.
Before you go to the supermarket, you should prepare your child and tell them what to expect. "We are going to the market to buy food." You can plan categorizing games such as 'can you find the red cans of soup?' Are there different types of breads?' If your child has a hard time in the supermarket and still tantrums, leave your groceries and take your child home! You can always shop online when you get home.
We should not use the concept of secrets because parents should always know everything. When you tell secrets children learn to hide things from you and other people. Predators very often tell children to keep a secret. Your child can say to the adult, "in our family, we don't keep secrets." Instead, you can use the term "surprise".
Our Baby and Me classes are designed to enrich both parents and children. Each class features a highly trained parenting facilitator and many of our classes feature a music specialist. All of our classes are terrific places to meet other parents, ask parenting questions, and for your children to explore the world around them. Baby and Me classes are the gateway to our Temple community and a perfect way to get to know us and celebrate the Jewish holidays. We recommend that parents choose classes that match their child’s age group and that fit your schedule. We have classes at both the Glazer and Mann Early Childhood Centers which are age appropriate and which both you and your baby will love.
Children entering school for the first time get a home visit like all other students. Parents or caregivers can stay in the classroom until your child is ready for you to leave. We believe that each child has had varied experiences and that each child will separate and make new attachments at their own pace. No parent is ever kicked out. We have the parents bring books or computers and do work in the back of the classroom.
Children develop best in an environment of order and consistency. Children like to know what to expect and are happiest in a predictable and safe world.
  1. Set up and consistently carry out regular routines such as morning wake-up time, nap times, bedtimes, and mealtimes. For example: wake-up in the morning, cuddle with mom or dad, brush teeth and eat breakfast. For bedtime - put on pajamas, brush teeth, get your lovey, read a story, and give a goodnight kiss.
  2. You can make a chart with photos that you have taken of your child doing all of these activities; the older nursery school children can draw their own pictures and/or write the words for the schedules.
  3. Sometimes, there are changes in schedules and routines so if possible, tell your child that today is different and explain the situation and the change you are making.
  4. Try to always be consistent. Children are the most content when the same thing happens at pretty much the same time each day.
Sometimes children will delay bedtime by stating they are hungry or thirsty when they are actually not. Give your child a cup of water and put it next to their bed. Say “if you wake up in the night, your water is right here.” A half an hour before bedtime, say to them “this is our last snack before bed.” Next time they ask for food or drink, you say “here is your cup next to your bed and we are finished eating for the night. I love you and I will see you in the morning.”

Separation is a process, not a problem. It is a concept of object permanence: Mommy, Daddy, or caregivers leave and then come back. Here are some tips:

  1. Always tell your child when you are leaving, never sneak out. By always telling your child that you are leaving, you will gain your child's trust. Trust is the most important concept for the child-parent bond. Children need to learn to trust you.
  2. Every child separates at their own pace. There is no specific rule. All children end up separating when they understand that when you leave, you will come back.
  3. Always tell your child when you come back and state: “Mommy, Daddy, or caregiver is back.” Don’t feel that you need to coddle. When your child is crying, they are telling you that they are missing you and when you come back tell them “I always come back.” Be calm and matter of fact.
  4. Each child gains new skills for separation as they become more independent.
  5. Remember to stay composed and this reassures your child.
  6. Separation is life long learning and this is just one of the first steps. Children will scaffold this knowledge as they have babysitters, overnight sleepovers, and go off to sleep away camp!
  7. Your children may regress at home with toileting accidents, sleep wakefulness, and following you everywhere you go. I promise you that this will pass.
There are different signs to look for to see if your child is ready to give up his/her nap. One sign is that if you put your child down for a nap and 45 minutes later they are still awake after the third consecutive day, your child is telling you it is time to give up his/her nap. Another indication is that your child will not go to sleep by 8:00 or 8:30 p.m. If this is the case, you should skip the nap and start your bedtime routine earlier and get your child to bed by 7:00 p.m.
First off, you need to get your sleep and adults sleep better without children in their bed. Parents who get more sleep are more alert, active, and have more patience with their children. Secondly, when your child goes into your bed, where does he/she go? Children always go into the middle of the bed which often hinders your relationship with your partner. Lastly, your child should know that his/her room is a wonderful, secure place. His/her bed or crib should be a comforting, safe haven.
  1. Have your child help prepare meals with you. It’s wonderful to take your children to a farmers market so they can help pick out fruit and vegetables. Children love to eat what they helped to pick out. Children also like to help make dinner. You can give your child a plate and plastic knife to help cut soft foods. For example, you can cook carrots soft enough for your child to cut, just make sure that you have cooled them first.
  2. Have your child help set the table for the meal.
  3. Let your child spoon their own portions onto their plate, within reason.
  4. Never say to your child that they need to take "one bite or two bites." By doing this you are giving your child the power not to take a bite at all. Instead, enjoy the meal and ignore how many bites your child is eating. If they are hungry they will eat. You cannot force a child to eat. It is not possible!
  5. Have a talking spoon, where your family decorates a wooden spoon and everyone at the dinner table has the opportunity to hold the spoon and talk about their day. This is wonderful family time as well.
Children need to eat on their own when they are old enough to hold utensils. By allowing children to feed themselves, they build confidence and a good self-esteem. Remember, your child is competent.
By saying that you need to eat a certain amount before you have dessert, the adult is making the protein and vegetable not so important and the dessert the reward for suffering through the meal. If you are in the habit of having dessert at each meal, see if you can stop desserts and instead put fruit as part of the dinner. This way, all of your child’s choices are fine! You can have yogurt, cookies, or other sweets at different times of the day.
Children want an authority figure and thrive with structure and limits. When there are boundaries, children feel secure. When a parent wants to be his or her child’s friend and does not set limits, it can be scary for the child to have so much power. Believe me, your child does not want this control. Your child will act out and test you and keep testing you until you rein him or him in. When you set limits, your child will begin to feel secure. To help you better understand, let me give you an example of a limit. Your child wants to wear shorts when it is 40 degrees outside. You say, “My job is to keep you safe and healthy. It is too cold today to wear shorts. You have two choices, you can wear the green pants or the red pants.” When you stick to your guns, your child will know that you mean business and will begin to listen. Children want you to be their parent to teach them right from wrong.

When your child grows up, they can be your friend and you will have plenty of time to have your adult relationship.
Children should learn about cause and effect. If a child throws a toy, he or she should lose the chance to play with the toy because it was not safe and he was not using the toy appropriately. You do not take away TV and threaten other items; instead, you take away the tangible item that relates to the specific event. Make sure to talk to your child about the action of throwing the toy and that we do not throw toys and therefore you lost your chance to play with the toy. Tomorrow or later in the day (it is up to you when he or she can have the toy back) you say, “When you can remember the rules, you can have the toy back.” You then give your child another chance. It is simple; there is no bargaining and better yet, it works!